The Epigram That Time Forgot - An Oversight!

I have just realized with horror — because it is one my most luminously wry — that I neglected to include this in my catalog of epigrams the other day:

You're not getting older. You're getting bitter.

You may feel free to deploy it at cocktail and other parties with full attribution.

Oh, and while we're here, I think I'll throw this one in too:

You've got your whole life ahead of you, except for the large portion irretrievably squandered.