When, in 2011, I
bought the iMac on which I’m writing this, I noted with amazed delight that
even the protective Styrofoam in which it had been shipped was beautifully
designed. I suspect that even those who deplore Apple’s dodgy ethics will agree
that their products are gorgeous, apparently because of Steve Jobs’ refined
aesthetic sense.
How Steve Jobs could have been so obsessed with the
beauty of his company’s products and yet look so ghastly as he unveiled them, invariably
in the black mock turtleneck sweater, dad jeans, and New Balance running shoes,
or, if you’re a Brit, trainers, that he wore every day? Why did his refined
aesthetic sense suddenly desert him when he went clothes-shopping? If you’re
not going to get a bit tarted up to unveil a world-changing new product to an
auditoriumful of persons who regard you as God Jr., when are you going to get a bit tarted up?
Of course, his being
glamorous and stylish at MacWorld, the big convention at which he customarily made his big
unveilings, would very much have been a pearls-before-swine situation, as his
audiences consisted almost entirely of men, with their bellies, ponytails, and smugness, whose idol seems to be The Simpsons’ Comic Book Guy. They were like grown-up versions of your high
school’s Calculus Club. There were only slightly more women in these audiences
than have been elected POTUS.
One year the German software and graphical interface designer Kai Krause, of Kai’s Power Tools, made an appearance. He didn’t wear
dad jeans, had a rock star’s coiffure, and was greeted approximately as Mick
Jagger might have been. Mr. Jobs, who is known to have asked colleagues if
women he proposed to date were attractive enough to reinforce his stature as a
hotshot, apparently wasn’t there to observe it. When Kai spoke of having some
inconceivable amount of RAM in his computer — 16MB, if memory serves — a reverent hush fell on the room.
You probably avoided
the Calculus Club types in high school, and would have found them no less
distasteful at MacWorld, once they’d brayed and bellowed their enthusiasm for
whatever Steve had just unveiled, and then been let loose among the wonderful
exhibitions. Behold the power of the free T-shirt (invariably in one size: XL).
To get the Calculus Club types’ rapt attention, an exhibitor needed only toss one to them every now and again. They were hungry tigers, and the shirts raw
meat.
At the last MacWorld I
attended, in around 1998, one company had half a dozen nubile young women in
gleaming latex catsuits of different bright colours handing out floppy disks,
at a time when there was still such a thing as a floppy disk. I don’t remember
exactly what…solution the floppies extolled, but I do vividly remember circling
around the exhibition hall to collect a great many of them.
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