Godwin's Law

Until about 30 seconds ago, I had been unaware of Godwin's Law, of which I am now an avid fan.

I've got a little law of my own, though it may not be nearly as good as Godwin's. No social media thread in which a particular recording artist or recording is mentioned in any way, however tangentially (for instance, "I was listening to Jack White while churning butter in the Lower 40 last Tuesday") will go more than a dozen comments without someone feeling called upon to let fly a completely irrelevant value judgment, such as, for instance, "I liked his/her/their/its [insert title] album best."

Of course, it can be even worse than that, as in someone feeling called upon to declare, “I can’t decide if I like [insert title or recording artist] or [insert title or recording artist] better.”

On the one hand, I find such declarations jaw-droppingly narcissistic. (What leads you to imagine that anyone cares, darling?) In a better mood, though, I find them sort of endearing, as I did when my then-11-year-old daughter informed me that she wasn’t content with making a mere cameo in one of my scripted sketch comedy revues in San Francisco, but wanted to become a full-fledged member of the troupe. I generally disdain passivity, and admire those who see something they like and want to try to do it themselves, though in many areas of life (sports, music, writing novels) this impulse has only put me on the path to tears.

It has long been my custom, when I encounter comments like “I can’t decide if I like [insert title or recording artist] or [insert title or recording artist] better” to reply, “Can you please notify us when you’ve reached a decision?” This works on two levels. First, it makes the commenter feel appreciated. What better feeling is there than that of others you haven’t even met wanting to know how you feel about things? On another level, it briefly satisfies my insatiable need to be sarcastic.

Another fun thing to do on Facebook, in particular: Insert this comment at random into almost any thread: White person's problem. You'll have hours of fun reading the Heated Responses!

The awful thing about using a photograph of Jack White to illustrate this little essay is that most people will read it solely because they’re Jack White fans. The wonderful thing is that someone will read it. I so enjoy feeling appreciated.