A Wonderful, Hilarious Joke You Can Tell People You Made Up Yourself!

A rabbi, the Pope, and a Muslim iman go into a bar. The bartender, who’s accustomed to serving people of faith, isn’t discombobulated, and says, “What can I pour you gents on this fine autumn afternoon?”

The rabbi says, “A glass of Manichewitz® pinto grigio I’ll have. Manichewitz® kosher wines have traditionally been almost undrinkably sweet, but there’s such a thing as cultural loyalty.”

The bartender says, “Coming right up,” and pours the rabbi’s wine. He slides the glass across the bar and asks the rabbi, “Do you know that Manichewitz®’s parent company since 1990 has been Bain Capital, the vulture capitalists that gave us Mitt Romney?”

“I didn’t,” the rabbi says, taking a sip of his wine and making the face people make when they drink something cloyingly sweet. “When he ran against Mr. Obama in 2012, I couldn’t stand him, but I’ve come to admire him as a result of his defiance of that gonif Trump.”

“Hear hear,” the Pope says, before informing the bartender that he’s going to have Scotch and holy water. The bartender says the bar’s supply of holy water won’t be replenished until Tuesday. The Pope chuckles and says, “Well, it’s a good thing I always bring my own!” He reaches into his raiments or whatever and produces a little vial of the referenced liquid. The bartender, relieved, mixes his drink for him.

The Muslim iman says, “Just ginger ale for me, my infidel friend, as the Koran forbids me to imbibe alcohol.”

The bartender pats his hand and says, “Not a problem, pally. We get a lot of adherents to Islam in here.”

The three men of God sip their drinks and watch the rain outside. The Pope, for the fun of it, proposes a blind taste test, with himself as judge, to determine whether the rabbi’s wine or the iman’s ginger ale is sweeter. The rabbi says, “Like fun that sounds,” but the iman, arching his eyebrow censoriously at the Pope, says, “I’ll pass.”