Viva Arizona!

Do you think we don’t know where all this is heading? You’ve bribed the New York Jets God knows how many billions of dollars to make Mark Sanchez their starting quarterback — even though they’ve got a perfectly good white guy in Mark Brunell — and he’s handsome and charismatic, and can’t even speak Spanish, and if the Jets do good this year, he and his sparkling white teeth will probably start turning up on TV, endorsing a lot of the same stuff white guys currently endorse. And then a lot of people, being stupid and lacking any racial pride, will think you’re all OK, and the next thing we know, you’ll be flooding across the border by the millions, rather than the present tens of thousands, and raping our women and taking our jobs and renaming our cities, and everybody’ll be eating churros and milling around in droves in front of Home Depot, and the whole idea is so alarming and disgusting that I can barely go on writing.

Well, it didn’t work with Erik Estrada, and it’s not going to work with Señor Sanchez either, so why don’t you crawl back under the fence to where you came from?

Have you noticed, by any chance, that unemployment is way up in our country? Has it occurred to you that might be because you people keep sneaking over here and taking all the minimum wage jobs no self-respecting American teenager would consider anyway, as well as virtually all the major league shortstop jobs? So you remove all the asbestos! So you wash pretty much all the dishes that get washed in America in 2010, and field a large percentage of the ground balls, and pick pretty much all the lettuce. You suppose that entitles you to put little Maria or Jesus (and don’t think we’re not plenty offended by your taking The Lord’s name in vain!) in our already crowded public schools? Like hell it does!

Don’t suppose we haven’t noticed that you reproduce at a much faster rate than normal people, and that in some cities you’re actually the majority now. And all because decent white Americans do it only for procreative purposes, whereas you people do it because you can’t afford most other forms of recreation, and there’s only so much Spanish language TV anybody can watch before they get sick and tired of not understanding a word anybody’s saying.

Don’t suppose we’re not wise to the fact that many of you aren’t Hispanics at all, but Muslims trying to take advantage of the fact that all the so-called mud races look so much alike. You tell us your names are Jose and Alejandro, but we know they’re really Muhammed and Ali, and that al-Qaeda has been bankrolling you. Next thing we know, there’s going to be a mosque on every corner, where there used to be a Wendy's or a Subway.

And don’t think we don’t realize the 7-11 chain is on the whole thing. Do you suppose it’s escaped our attention that it’s nigh onto impossible to get a Slurpee anywhere in America anymore without having to interact with a Pakistani terrorist pretending to be from Bangladesh or Sri Lanka or one of those other curry-reeking hellholes? And while we’re at it, we might as well disabuse you of the notion that we’re unaware that the Jews are behind the whole thing, just as they’re behind every plot to destroy America, and have been from Day 1.

Underestimate us at your own peril, José! We're not stupid!