Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Sara(h) Smiles, Part 14: Lovemaking Tips of the Inuits

Another day, another several dozen America-loving New Yorkers pledged to work on behalf of Sarah’s brand of common-sense conservatism next year and in 2012, another several hundred dollars raised for Sarah’s campaign “war chest,” another bunch of blows struck against the Obamarxism that threatens all of us, even those too hoodwinked by the lamestream media to realize it.

Speaking of the lamestream media, a lot of folks yesterday wanted to talk about Sarah’s declaration that she wouldn’t subject herself to more of that rhymes-with-witch Katie Couric's ridicule, as she was on the CBS Evening News shortly after John McCain invited her to be his running mate in 2008. Behold common sense conservatism in action! How would America gain in any way from Sarah’s once again being ambushed with trick questions like What newspapers do you customarily read? and With which recent Supreme Court decisions do you most disagree? When, in the first instance, Sarah said she reads all of them, or at least all the important ones, do you remember how Couric channeled Billy Idol, sneering to beat the band? Well, if Couric were a tenth as smart as she imagines herself to be, she’d have known that Sarah has a degree in communications from the University of a State With Remarkably Few Coloreds, and knows ethical journalism from the sort the lamestreamers purvey. “I want,” Sarah has declared, “to help clean up the state that is so sorry today of journalism.” Hear, hear!

Much is being made by the left of the second episode of Sarah Palin’s Iowa having fared much less well in the ratings this past Sunday than the first episode. Never mind that advertisements for the first show suggested — misleadingly, as it turned out, but that’s to do with the whim of her producers, and not Sarah herself — that the show would reveal the native Alaskan lovemaking techniques that keep her and Todd itching to get behind closed doors together even after 22 years of marriage. According to TV Guide, though, Sarah in the second episode was to show the viewer how to make moose jerky. Interesting, yes, but obviously lacking the maiden broadcast’s “wow" factor.

Naturally, the lamestreamers haven’t troubled themselves to note in the midst of their gloating that the second SPI trampled the debut of Arianna Huffington’s fashion makeover show on PBS. But I suppose you’ve got to give the strange-accented old shrew credit for coming up with an irresistible concept — making middleaged women more attractive by getting them to dress less dowdily and undergo extensive cosmetic surgery. Yes, of course I’m being sarcastic; in the United Kingdom, where Huffington has almost certainly vacationed, one could easily watch such programmes four hours a night.

In other news, common-sense conservatives are very much in favor of today’s National Opt-Out Day, during which, on this busiest travel day of the year, common-sense conservatives and others will advise Transportation Security Administration airport personnel that they decline to be electronically scanned, and want instead to be patted down.

Predictably, the Obamarxists are citing studies by the Food and Drug Administration, the Johns Hopkins University Applied Physics Laboratory, and others who probably share their belief in evolution, to the effect that one is highly unlikely to suffer corneal damage or contract skin, breast, or testicular cancer from the scan. But these are the same people who once told us that fluoridating municipal drinking water would help reduce tooth decay!

A lot of travelers refusing to be scanned is sure to cause chaos at the nation’s airports, and its entirely conceivable that a great many Americans will wind up having to delay their big holiday feast until Friday, traditionally the most fervent consumption day of the year, instead of shopping. A lot of retailers will consequently go under, and the recession will deepen. But that’s a small price to pay for being able to ask Big Government thugs as they pat us down, “Enjoying yourself, faggot?”

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